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Katie is an ordinary girl, but there is one thing that is rather unusual about her. She’s a witch and can do magic spells. Her grandmother is a witch too, and she has a beautiful and very unusual umbrella. When Katie takes it to school, it is confiscated by Miss Vile. Then some unfortunate things start to happen.

Read by Natasha. Pictures by Tia. Story by Bertie. Duration 17.36.

Katie’s grandmother had all sorts of beautiful, but rather old fashioned, magical things. Many of them weren’t so useful these days, because science has caught up with magic in so many ways. For instance, before electric kettles were invented, witches had magic cauldrons that boiled the water without any need to put them on the fire. Well Katie’s grandma still used one of those to make her tea and coffee. Before phones were invented, witches used to call one another using crystal balls, and Katie’s grandma absolutely refused to get a mobile phone or a computer, so if you wanted to send her a text message, you had to use a crystal ball. And of course she still kept a witch’s broomstick, though of course these days most witches prefer to drive a car or take the bus, because broom sticks are not very comfortable, and it’s all to easy to slide off them and hurt yourself.

But one of grandma’s most beautiful possessions was her umbrella. It had a golden handle that was shaped like head of a griffin. The fabric was decorated with old fashioned magic symbols, which Katie could not understand, because these days most witches learn to do spells in modern languages like English or French. But they were very beautiful and Katie loved looking at them.

Grandma was always a little scatty, even in her younger days, but as she got older, she became more and more forgetful. One day she left her umbrella in the patisserie shop. She only realised that she no longer had it when it rained the following Wednesday. She remembered that it had been raining when she visited the patisserie, and as the shop was near to where Katie lived, Katie went to fetch it. As Katie left the shop, it began to rain, and so naturally, she opened the umbrella.

Other people on the street were turning up their collars or dodging into door ways to avoid the downpour. Katie ambled along enjoying the dryness of her umbrella. But as she was passing the mobile phone store, a man barged into her.

“Oy, you could say sorry, or ‘excuse me!” exclaimed Katie. The man turned around and stared at her blankly like she wasn’t there.

Katie continued home, but it wasn’t long before she collided with a traffic warden and then was nearly run over by a woman with a pram.

“Aren’t people rude these days? “ thought Katie, “It’s just a little bit of rain. They are all in such a hurry, you would think they were all running away from a rampaging elephant or something.”

As she stepped through the door of the house, she half closed the umbrella, meaning to leave it in the hallway to dry off. And that was when she noticed something very peculiar about it. Because, until the umbrella snapped shut, she couldn’t see it. And then when it went “click”, it appeared again.

“Ah,” thought Katie, “there’s more to Grandma’s umbrella than meets the eye – in fact, you could say that nothing of it at all meets the eye. ” And she tried standing in front of the mirror with it open above her head – and do you know what? She was looking straight through herself. But if you could have seen Katie’s face, there would have been a mischievous grin on it. She thought:

“I’m going to have fun with this.”

The next morning promised a bright and sunny day – but all the same, Katie took her umbrella with her to school. She hung it up on her peg in the cloakroom, but then she thought:

“What if somebody steals it?”

So she left it open just a little, which made it invisible.

At break time, Katie’s friends Jenny and Isis were talking about their favourite TV programme. It was one of those talent contests which are so popular these days, and they were discussing who was going to win. Suddenly the hear Katie saying.

“I think it will be Annabelle McTabith, because although she’s not beautiful like most stars, she’s got an amazing singing voice.

“Ooh, Katie, you should sneak up on people like that. It’s creepy!” exclaimed Isis. But when she looked round, Katie wasn’t there, and that really was creepy.

Outside some boys were playing football. Katie didn’t like that, because they hogged a big part of the playground, and careered all over the place, getting in people’s way. When the ball rolled past Katie’s feet, she pulled it up under her umbrella so that it became invisible like her. She laughed as she heard Steve Smart saying “Where did it go? “ and all the boys were looking round all over the place. Then she carried the ball over to near the goal posts – which were actually two bags on the ground – and kicked it through them. That really got the boys exclaiming “What the? ? and “ Where did that come from?”.

Next Katie did something she had always wanted to do. She went into the Teacher’s staff room. She saw Miss Vile and Mr. sitting very cosily together, and she heard Mrs. Jefferson saying, “That boy Darcy Thomas has so many airs and graces that you would think he was royalty,” and Miss Thomas was nodding and saying, “Well you should see the parents, they’re so stuck-up that on parents day I felt I ought to curtsy to them.” Katie snickered because Darcy really did fancy himself rather too much, and then she remembered that she had to keep quiet.

The he bell rang for lessons and Mr. Hutchinson said: “Oh no, I don’t think I can face the hooligans of Class 4 C.”

Katie hurried back to her class room. She sat down next to Isis and held the umbrella over both of them so that they were invisible together.

Miss Vile came in, and the babble of children’s voices died down. The teacher cast her steely gaze over the room and noted the empty seats where Katie and Isis normally sat. When she turned her back, Katie let down the umbrella. There were gasps from those who saw the two friends appear. Miss Vile san round and stared them. Katie put on her most innocent face, and Isis didn’t have to put on a face because she really was innocent. Miss Vile said:

“Katie. There’s no need to bring that umbrella into the class room. It’s got a sharp point on the end and it’s against health and safety.”

“But Miss Vile, it’s valuable, and I don’t want to leave it in the cloakroom.”

“Well give it to me, and I’ll look after it.” And Katie had no choice but to give it to the teacher.

And at the end of the lesson, when Katie asked for her umbrella back, Miss Vile said: “It’s confiscated Katie. You can ask me for it back at the end of term.”

It was supposed to be a secret that Katie was a witch, but of course Miss Vile had seen more than a few odd things happen during her time teaching her, and she had her suspicions. Her instinct told her that there was something pretty unusual about the umbrella, and of course, she was right.

Suddenly it seemed like Miss Vile was everywhere all at once.

Some boys who were kicking bags around the cloakroom didn’t notice that Miss Vile was watching them.

In class 4 C, when Mr. Hutchinson’s back was turned, the “hooligans” started chatting to each other. Somehow they didn’t notice that Miss Vile was in the room and noting down their names.

When Isis and Katie were trying out lipstick in the girl’s loos, they didn’t realise that Miss vile was standing behind them. Make up was banned in school and they were both in trouble.

In fact, it seemed like nobody could get away with anything anymore. No illegal snacks, no talking out of turn, no play-fights, no sneaking into out of bound places like the bike sheds, and no mucking around of any kind at all between lessons.

On Friday evening the detention class after school was the biggest than anyone had known. It had 30 people in it, and 27 of them had been put there by Miss Vile. And there are no prizes for guessing which teacher was wearing a very smug and satisfied smile on her face.

Of course Katie understood that Miss Vile was using the umbrella to make herself invisible. But there was nothing she could do about it. It was a good thing that nobody else knew, or they would have all blamed Katie for the new reign of terror that was gripping the school.

That weekend, grandmother came to visit, and Katie had to admit what had happened to her umbrella.

“I’m really, really sorry gran,” said Katie. “It’s a terrible and I don’t know what to do about it.”

At first, Gran was a little bit grumpy about her missing umbrella. All Sunday she kept on making remarks like, “I only asked you to fetch it from the patisserie, not take it to school.” and “It’s an antique not a toy, ” and “You can’t get another one like that these days for love or money.” And to mum chipped in too, telling Katie that it had been extremely silly of her to take such a valuable thing to school, and she only had herself to blame for what had happened.

But by evening, Gran had softened her tone a bit, and must as she was getting ready to fly home, she said:

“You know Katie, I’m probably a fool to do this, but I”m going to lend you my spare spectacles. And this time you do have my permission to take them to school, only you must promise to be very careful with them.”

And she rumbled in her handbag – which was always so full of many more things than could possibly be kept in there, except by magic – and finally she found the case with her spare spectacles in them.

Katie put the glasses on and looked at herself in the mirror. They were a very ornate pair, made of gold and decorated with precious stones.

“Hmm, they don’t really suit your face, do they?” said Grandma. And she said a magic spell which made them look trendy – or rather Grandma’s idea of trendy – which mean the frames were large and square and bright blue.

“Thanks grandma,” said Katie,”But why are you lending them to me?”

“You’ll see,” said Grandma. “Or rather, they will help you to see.”

On monday morning, Katie wore grandma’s glasses to school.

Jenny said “Hello four eyes,” and Michelle thought they made her look cute. But Isis said that they were a total fashion disaster. Michael said “I didn’t know you were short sighted Katie,” and Katie replied. “Neither did I until yesterday. “

It wasn’t until the break at lunch time that Katie understood what the glasses were for. Isabelle was walking down the corridor and she sneakily took a piece of chewing gum out of her pocket and popped it into her mouth. Katie was walking towards her and was trying to signal frantically that Miss Vile was standing in a doorway and had seen the whole crime – but it was too late. Isabelle was signed up for detention.

But of course what Katie had also seen, was that Miss Vile was holding up her umbrella over her head. Now she understood that the glasses enabled her to see everything – even things and people that were invisible.

She decided to follow Miss Vile and see what she did next. She saw her go into the playground and catch a boy who climbed over the fence into the caretaker’s yard to retrieve a lost football.

Then she saw Miss Vile go into the staff room – and do you know what? She didn’t taken down her umbrella.

“That’s a naughty Miss Vile,” thought Katie, “She spying on the other teachers.”

After school, Katie saw Miss Vile standing standing by the school gate and watching them all. She was holding up her umbrella and nobody could see her except Katie.

Katie came up to her and said: “Hello Miss Vile, would you like a piece of chewing gum,” and Miss Vile.

“Katie. You know perfectly well that chewing gum is illegal.”

“But nobody will see you, will they Miss?”

And Miss Vile smiled. “No they would’t, would they? But as it happens, teachers can’t break the school rules. It would be setting a bad example and I would have to put myself in detention.”

Katie laughed and said, “That’s good, because I don’t actually have any gum. But Miss. I’ve got a question. Do you think it’s ok for teachers to use magic? “

And and a rather uneasy smile passed over Miss Vile’s face, because she knew just as well ask Katie that magic was agains the school rules. And not just a little bit against them.

I mean,” said Katie, “if Miss Hepworth was to find out that your recent success at crime detection was all down to my grandma’s magic umbrella, do you think she would be pleased?”

And as Miss Hepworth was the head teacher Miss Vile realised that something she would not like to happen at all. Not one little bit.

“Well Katie,” she said. “I heard on the radio this morning that the weather forecast is for rain. I don’t think it would be right for me to hang on to your grandmother’s umbrella anymore. Perhaps you could take it home for me,”

And of course Katie was happy about that.

“You won’t say anything about this will you? ” said Miss Vile.

Text copyright hugh fraser 2010

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Katie, the ordinary witch, returns for story in which her mother buys her a black kitten to help her with her magic. Katie puts a spell on the cat so that he can talk. Soon he is not only talking, he’s gossipping about all her friends.

Read by Natasha. Story by Bertie. Pictures by Tia. Acknowledgement to Saki. Duration 12.51

Every Saturday, not far from where Katie lived, there was a market. Farmers came into town and set up their stalls in a car park. They sold the tastiest apples, the freshest eggs, and all sorts of vegetables that still had the mud from the fields on them. Katie liked to go there with her mum who looked for unusual herbs like sorrel, angelica and coltsfoot. Sometimes she made spells with these herbs, but quite often she just put them in her soups. One morning, as they were leaving the market, they passed an old lady who was standing on the corner holding a wicker basket.

“Little girl, do you want to see what I have inside this basket,” she asked.

Katie was a bit afraid, because she thought that perhaps she had something bad in the basket, like apples that were poisonous. Besides, she knew that she must never speak to strangers. But then she heard a little sound.

“Mee-ow”

“Oh mum, can we look please?” she asked.

Katie’s mum was curious to see too. The old lady pulled back the cloth and they saw that inside the basket four little kittens clambering over each other.

“Oh please, they are so cute, mum, can we have one?”

Mum shook her head.

“Oh please, please, can we have a kitten? I want one so much. I promise to look after it and besides”, she whispered, “a cat could help me with my magic.”

One of the kittens was black. Mum picked it up by the scruff on the back of its neck – the way a mother cat picks up her kittens. She examined it closely and made sure that he was completely black without even the smallest white mark on its paws.

“Alright,” she said. “We’ll buy this one.”

Back at home, the fluffy little creature did loads of incredibly cute things like playing with a ball of wool, looking in the mirror and thinking there was another cat there, and climbing in and out of Katie’s shoe.

“Mum, what sort of magic can cats do?” asked Katie

“Cats are very clever and can be your ears and eyes,” said mum, “But you must be very careful. Cats don’t have much tact. They can get you into all sorts of trouble.”

“By my cat’s clever,” said Katie. She picked up her kitten and kissed him. “I shall call you Solomon,” she said. “Because you are so much wiser than ordinary cats.”

The months passed and Solomon grew up into a serious young cat who liked to sit and watch Katie do her homework. He often went out for long walks on his own, and Katie wondered where he wandered and what he saw.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to ask him,” she thought. And then she had an idea. She went into her mother’s room and pulled down a volume from the Encyclopedia of Magic. There were some spells in there that were so secret that they weren’t even on the internet yet. She turned through the pages of magic instructions that began with “C” and she found the one that looked the most promising for her purpose. It was called “Cat’s Tongue”

Katie went out into the garden to pick some catnip. She said a magic spell over it, and came back in to the kitchen to give it to Solomon. He purred appreciatively because there was nothing that he liked more than catnip.

“Now Solomon, “ said Katie, “Can you tell me where you went on your walk today and what you saw?”

“Murrrrr,” said Solomon.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand cat talk,” said Katie.

“I was just thinking,” said Solomon, “What to tell you first. Would you like to know about the mouse that I caught and ate for breakfast?”

“Not really.”

“Or would you like to know about the oak tree where I sharpen my claws?”

“Not especially.”

“Then shall I tell you who I saw with your friend Isis?”

“Yes,” said Katie. “That would be rather more interesting.”

“I saw Isis sitting in her garden with Tim eating ice creams, and do you know what? They kissed !’

“Hu! They didn’t “

“They did, I saw it. “

And Katie was so excited that she couldn’t wait to tell everyone at school all about Isis and Tim, but of course she wasn’t going to tell Isis or Tim themselves, because they obviously already knew about it.

“Wow,” you don’t say?” asked Emma.

“Ugg, how could she? He has blackheads on his nose,” exclaimed Jane.

“But how do you know?” asked Ravinia.

As Katie couldn’t say how she knew, because her talking cat was meant to be a secret, so she just said that she saw it all with her own eyes.

The next day, when Katie came home, she found Solomon sleeping on top of a pile of laundry.

“Solomon, wake up you sleepy moggy, What did you see today?”

“Well,” he said with a stretch and a yawn, “I was walking along the top of the school wall when I saw your friend Isis again. She was talking to Ravinia and she said that you were a spy and a tell-tale-tit. “

“She didn’t !” exclaimed Katie with great indignation.

“Of course, You don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to.”

“I do believe you Solomon. I just meant, like, how dare she say a thing like that? She’s my friend. Well you know what? I’m not speaking to her anymore.”

And for the rest of the week at school, Isis and Katie pretended not to notice each other, even though they were normally the best of friends. When they weren’t falling out with each other, Isis and Katie would share secrets and problems, and quite often, when they got home from school, they would chatter on the phone because they liked each other’s company so much. Now Katie wasn’t speaking to Isis. So she called Paul who used to go her school.

Isis was looking out of her bedroom window at the spot where she had sat with Tim. Tim had given her one tiny little kiss, as an experiment, just to see what all the fuss was about that sort of thing. And she had liked it. She would have liked it less if she had known that Katie was spying on her? But how? The garden had a high wall all around it. Had she climbed up a tree? Or flown over on her broomstick, more like. But however she had spied that kiss, the hurtful thing was that she had gossiped about it. When the rumours started to spread around school, thanks to Katie and her big mouth, Tim became embarrassed and stopped being her friend. While Isis was thinking these sad thoughts, she noticed that a black cat was sitting in the apple tree, watching the birds flutter around the nut container that swung to and fro from a branch.

“I know you,” she said. “Your’e that witch Katie’s cat.”

And then Isis thought to her self. “That’s it ! The cat is Katie’s spy…. but I bet I can turn that cunning creature into double agent. Soon he’ll be spying for me. It doesn’t take much to win a faithless cat’s heart. “ She knew exactly what to do. Two minutes later she was walking down the garden path carrying a saucer of clotted cream.

“Here kitty kitty,” she called. That was all it took. Soon Solomon’s rough tongue was lapping up the cream. “Now would you like to come inside and have some gorgeous smelly sardines?” asked Isis.

“I don’t mind if I do,” said Solomon.

When Solomon had eaten the tinned sardines in the Kitchen, Isis lifted up the feline fellow and took him to her room where she put him down on her big soft pink pillow. As he stretched out she tickled his belly.

“Mrrr. You sure know how to spoil a cat,” said Solomon.

“I sure do,” said Isis. “And you can come here, drink cream, feast on sardines, and lie on my pillow any time you want. But tell me. Who is your owner and what is he or she like?”

“Oh nobody special, just a little witch called Katie,” purred Solomon.

“I know her. She has a boyfriend, doesn’t she?” asked Isis, taking a stab in the dark.

“Not really. She just holds hands with Paul sometimes,” he said.

And Isis thought that was rather interesting. “And tell me, “ she said, “What does she say about the other kids at school?”

“Oh nothing worth knowing. Just that Annabel has bandy legs, and Georgie is a cry baby, and Ravinia can’t be trusted to keep a secret, and Laura is so stupid that she takes notes when she’s watching cartoons on TV.”

That was more than enough information. Five minutes later Isis had dialed Katie’s number and was relating back all the interesting facts that she had just learned.

“That’s s all rubbish,” said Katie. “It’s a tissue of lies.”

“No it’s not. It’s the perfect truth.”

“Prove it,” Challenged Katie. And she immediately wished that she hadn’t said that.

“Alright I will prove it. Your black moggy is lying on my pillow in my room and I’m going to invite to invite Annabel,Georgie, Ravinia and Laura round to hear what he has to say. And then I’m going to tell the entire world about you and Paul. In fact, I’m going to send record dedications for soppy love songs to all the radio stations on your behalf.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

And Katie realised that she was in a tight spot – one that magic wouldn’t necessarily get her out of.

“Ok,” she said. “I’m sorry that I gossiped about you.”

And although Isis didn’t accept her apology right away, the next day at school, when she found herself next to Katie in the dinner queue she asked:

“How’s your cat?”

“I don’t know. He’s not talking to me,”

“You mean that even your cat doesn’t talk to you any more?”

“Not since last night. I took the spell off him. I’m not so sure that a talking cat is such a good idea. “

And after that, Isis and Katie became friends again – because everyone needs somebody special that they can talk to.

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In the previous Katie story, somebody stole her spell book and started doing bad spells all over school. Naturally most people assumed that it was Katie who was to blame. The head teacher has discovered who the real culprit is – and it’s not Katie. But Katie still does not know the identity of the thief. In this story, we will find out who stole Katie’s spell book.

Read by Natasha. Pictures by Tia. Text by Bertie for Storynory. Duration 16 min.

Katie was in the clear. The head teacher knew for a fact that it was somebody else who had been doing all the bad spells around school. But not everybody knew that she was innocent. In fact, as far as most people were concerned, Katie was still the Number One Suspect. This unpleasant state of affairs became home to Katie when somebody stuck a horrid poster about her on the classroom pin board. It showed a picture of a witch with a pointed hat and a broom, and beneath the picture was written

WANTED
Dead or Alive
For Black Magic
Katie The Witch !

Katie did not notice the poster at first, but then Isabelle said: “Hey Katie, you’re notorious.”

Katie wasn’t quite sure if notorious was a good or a bad word, but when she saw the poster she realised that it was definitely bad. She ripped the poster off the wall and tore it up. Then she saw that Isabelle, Mandy and Judy were smirking at her.

Mandy said: “Ooh Katie. I put up the poster. Are going to turn me into a toad?”

And Katie felt ever so tempted to do just that. But she held back because that would be doing Black Magic. And that really would be bad.

Katie knew that almost all the girls in her class were gossiping about her. Isis remained her only loyal and true friend. The boys didn’t seem to care if she was a witch or not, but the boys didn’t talk about anything much anyway, apart from football and action movies. Except for one. And that was Paul.

You might think that Paul would be more wary of Katie than most. He had been acting the lead role in the school play that had gone embarrassingly wrong when somebody put a spell on it. He was good looking, and clever – so Katie thought – and the school play was the first time he had ever been in trouble.

But Paul didn’t seem at all cross with Katie. In fact, he was really nice to her. For example, on Friday afternoon in the art class, when Katie was painting a black cat, Mandy whispered that it was a witch’s cat.

But Paul said that the eyes in Katie’s painting were just like his own cat’s. And that he really liked his cat because she was mysterious and did her own thing.

“Well Paul likes weird things,” said Mandy. “In fact, he likes Katie.”

And Judy asked “Hey Paul, why do you talk to Katie? She put a jinx your bid for stardom.” And the girls sniggered.

And Jemma, who had also been in the play with Paul, and who was still crushingly embarrassed about saying all the wrong line in front of all the parents and governors – not just any old wrong lines – but really stupid ones – she was furious with Katie and she said:

“Look Paul, don’t you ever learn? Stay away from Katie. Witches are bad news.”

And Paul got really furious and said:

“All you girls ever do is gossip and whisper nasty things. You don’t know everything. You just think you do. It wasn’t Katie who did those spells. Somebody stole her magic book.”

“Oh yeah, if you believe that you’ll believe anything”, said Jemma. And then they all had to be quite because Miss. Stripes the art teacher was looking at them.

And for the first time in a week, Katie felt really happy. In fact, she felt especially happy because Paul was sticking up for her. She knew that Jemma was particularly peeved because she really liked Paul. And that made her feel even more pleased, though perhaps it shouldn’t have.

In fact, if there was any boy in the class who was ok, it was Paul. He was so nice that he was almost like a girl, only he was a boy. In fact, he was perfect.

But perhaps Paul wasn’t quite as perfect as he used to be. The next week he was late for school on Monday, and then on Tuesday, and then if he was late on Wednesday he would be in serious trouble.

It was 9.30 on Wednesday morning. Miss Vile was taking the register. And Paul’s chair was empty.

Miss Vile said: “Imran – “Yes Miss Vile”,

“Jemma” – “Yes Miss Vile” ,

“Katie” – “Yes, Miss Vile,”

And Katie thought: “Shall I, just this once, do just a little spell to help Paul out? ”

Miss Vile had reached Mathew. Next it would be Nathan and then it would be Paul.

Katie wasn’t supposed to do spells at school, and but then on the other hand, she really did owe Paul a favour, and she really didn’t want him to be in trouble, because that wouldn’t be fair, because normally he was so good.

“Paul,” said Miss Vile. And before the teacher could look up at Paul’s empty chair, Katie quickly said a spell and made it look like he was sitting there and saying:

“Yes Miss Vile,” in a voice that sounded almost like his real one.

But just as the magic Paul was answering the register, the real Paul walked into the room. So if anyone else looked up, the would see two Pauls. And that really could cause double trouble and confusion. Katie quickly said another spell to make the real Paul disappear for a moment while sorted out the mess. Fortunately everyone was quite sleepy because it was first thing in the morning, and nobody seemed to notice the strange comings and goings of Paul’s likeness.

Katie was pleased because she had helped Paul, even though he didn’t know that she had – or so she thought. Just before the first lesson, Paul said:

“Thanks for helping me out Katie. But there was no need. I don’t want you to get into trouble for doing magic.”

And Katie was surprised, because she didn’t think he could see through her magic.

“Oh really it was nothing, she said. “I owed you”

But Paul kept on getting into more trouble at school, and Katie wasn’t always there to help him. He forgot his homework, he lost his text books, and pretended to be feeling poorly when the class had to go on a long run around the playing fields even though it was raining. Mr. Sadie, the games teacher didn’t believe him and made him run twice as far as everyone else. On that occasion, Katie gave Paul just a little help, and said a spell to make him run faster.

“Thanks once again,” said Paul later on.

“Thanks for what?” asked Katie.

“Thanks for making me run faster.”

And this time Katie asked him how he knew that she had done some magic, because most people wouldn’t have noticed. And Paul let her into a secret. He told her that his grandfather had been a wizard. But his family were really embarrassed about it, and they hushed up this chapter in the family history and made Paul swear never to do any magic. His mum and dad thought that magic was something you should be ashamed of.

“That’s ridiculous,” said Katie. “But then, they aren’t the only ones who think like that. There’s a lot of prejudice against witches. People are afraid of us because they don’t understand us. That’s why it’s supposed to be a secret that I’m a witch.’

“It’s not a very good secret,” said Paul. “Everyone knows it.”

“And everyone blames me when it goes wrong.”

“Yes, I’ve noticed” said Paul.

Although what Paul had told Katie was a secret, she shared it with Isis because she was her best friend. And when Isis heard she said.

“Now it all makes perfect sense. It was Paul who stole your book. That’s why he’s sticking up for you. He feels guilty that everyone is blaming you for his naughty spells.”

And at first Katie couldn’t believe that Paul would do something bad like stealing her book. But then she thought some more, and she had to admit that whoever stole her book seemed to have a talent for magic. Because it was one thing to read the spells in a book, and it was another to actually do them. In fact it was really only supposed to be witches and wizards who
could do them.

“It’s obvious, ” said Isis. “You can’t see it because you’ve got a pang for Paul. ”

“I have not.”

“Yes you have.”

“Well perhaps just a bit, ” admitted Katie.

The next week Paul did something really, really bad. He sneaked out of school at lunchtime and went for a walk around town on his own. And then some rough boys started picking on him. A police car was going by and saw that there was a fight about happen. They stopped to help Paul and that was how they found out that he was playing truant from school. Now he was in big trouble. Like getting excluded from School kind of trouble. Miss Hepworth the head teacher called his mother in for a chat. The word was out that Paul was going to get the Big Push.

Paul wasn’t in school, but Katie really wanted to talk to him. She had never been to Paul’s house, and she didn’t have his phone number or email address. But that didn’t stop her. Her mum had a magic phone that knew everyone’s number in the entire world, even the numbers of people like the Queen, or the President of the United States, or Sir Paul Mccartney Mum never used it to call be like that, because she said they were busy and in any case, they didn’t need any help or advice from a witch because they had their own kind of magic. But the phone was incredibly useful when you lost a friend’s number, or didn’t have it in the first place. Katie picked it up and just said:

“I’d like to call Paul please,” And the phone understood which Paul she meant and it called him right away.

Pual’s mum answered and she heard her call up the stares “Paul. There’s a “Katie” on the phone for you.”

And a bit later Paul Picked up the receiver and said, “Hello Katie. Or perhaps I should say goodbye. You know they’re going to kick me out of school.”

“I’m so cross with you,” said Katie. “Why have you been acting so bad recently. You’ve always been so well behaved. In fact, up until recently you were Mr. Perfect.”

“Well I suppose I got bored with being Mr. Perfect,” said Paul. “Being bad seems like more fun. And besides. I’ve got something to confess. It was me who stole your spell book. ”

“I figured that out for myself already,” said Katie. “But now I’m going to save you one last time. I’ll do a mind wipe on Mrs. Hepworth so that she forgets all the bad things you’ve done.”

And Paul said something that really surprised Katie. “No don’t do that,” he said. “I forbid you. I don’t want to be saved by your magic. I’ve got to face this myself.”

And although Katie argued with him, and she meant to ignore what he said and do the spell anyway, later that evening she decided to call Isis and ask her advice. And Isis said that yes, Paul had to take his lesson. It would be good for him.

And so Paul was expelled from school. And before he left, Paul told his friends that it was he who had stolen Katie’s spell book, and people understood at last that Katie really was innocent of doing all the bad spells around school.

Katie was really sad that she wouldn’t be seeing Paul at school anymore. But she had one compensation. She did have his telephone number. And now all she had to do was think of a reason to invite him round in the holidays so that her mother could explain to him the difference between good and bad magic.

And that was the story of Katie’s Who Done It. I do hope you thought it was worth the wait to find out who stole Katie’s spells. And don’t forget there are loads more Katie stories on Storynory.com. So drop by soon and listen to some. For now, from me, Natasha, Bye Bye.

Text Copyright, Hugh Fraser 2009

Download the audio to your computer (right click, save as)

Katie, the ordinary witch, loses her spell book at school. This is bad enough, but then somebody starts using her spells to play tricks. Of course when magic happens at school, it’s only natural that people blame Katie. She must become a detective and discover who the theif is before things go too far.

Read by Natasha. Pictures by Tia. Story by Bertie. Duration 19.47.

Katie had loads and loads of books. Books about stories, books about interesting places, books about famous people in history, books about weird but true facts, books about – just about anything you can think of. But the most important one of all was a special secret book that she had written herself. It was her spell book. And every time she learned a new piece of magic, that was where she wrote it down.

Normally, Katie kept her spell book at home and that was it stayed.
But just once, she took it to school to show it to her friend Isis. She let Isis have a very quick look, so that she could see how all her spells were written in beautiful letters, and how she drew pictures to explain the difficult parts. And then, as the geography class was about to begin, she quickly slipped the book into her bag with her other books. Normally she would have made all the writing inside it invisible, but it was against the rules to do magic at school, and she didn’t want anyone to hear her saying the invisible spell.

At exactly 12 o clock, the school bell rang six times. That meant it was a fire drill , and everyone had to go outside into the playground with running or panicking, and line up in their classes. Katie took her bag and started to walk quickly to the door. Her teacher, Miss Vile, said:

“Katie. Don’t run and leave your bag. It is not the procedure to take anything with you.”

And as Katie really, really didn’t want to leave the bag behind, she pleaded,

“But Please Miss Vile..”

“Katie. Answering back is holding everyone up and putting them in danger. Just put the bag back and follow the procedure.”

And although Katie thought it was a waste of time to put her bag back on the desk, she did as she was told.

There wasn’t really a fire. It was just a practice. And soon everyone allowed back inside to continue their lessons. It was only later that evening, when Katie got home and took out all her books, that she realised that the most important one of all was missing.

At first she couldn’t quite believe it. She looked through all her books again and again. But no. The spell book wasn’t among them. And then she thought back through he day.

“The Fire Drill!” she said out aloud to herself. “That was the only time the bag was out of my sight. Somebody must have stolen my book !”

And although she was very worried, she didn’t tell her mother because she knew she would be cross. Instead she said to hesself.

“I’ll just have to be a detective and discover who took it !”

Later that day, the whole class had to do a spelling test. Not a magic spelling test, but the ordinary sort where you have to write down tricky words. At the end, the children had to swap books with their neighbour and mark each others’ tests. Katie marked Isis’s book. And do you know what? She scored 10 out of 10.

And Katie thought: “Nobody could know how to spell all of those horrible words. She must have cheated with magic. Isis must have stolen my spell book !”

And as soon as the bell rang for the end of class she turned to Isis and demanded:

“Alright. Hand it over!”

“Hand over what?”

“You know perfectly well what. My spell book. You stole it yesterday during the fire drill !”

And Isis looked like she was going to cry. “katie. How could you say such a nasty thing. I”m your friend. And besides, I left for the drill before you and came back after you. So if anyone stole your book. It wasn’t me.”

And Katie remembered that it was true. Isis had left before her, and come back after her, so it couldn’t have been her that stole her book.

“Yes, that’s right,” she said. “I’m sorry I accused you. But who could have taken my book?”

“I know who,” said Isis. “It was Isabelle. When you were showing me your book, she was kind of hovering around, pretending not to be interested. But she’s a nosy parker and she was listening in. She’s the one who took your book. I bet.”

Katie and Isis decided not to accuse Isabelle right away, because then she would be on her guard. Instead they watched her closely, to see if she gave herself away.

The very next day, Isis came into class very excitedly and whispered into Katie’s ear.

“Have you seen Isabelle yet? She’s smiling all over her criminal little face. Mrs. Hepworth has said that she can go on holiday two weeks during term time. Her Dad is going to California for his work, and he’s going to take the family with him to see Disney Land. Mrs. Hepworth never lets anyone take time off school. Isabelle must have put a spell on her.”

And Katie was sure that her friend was right. But then it turned out that it was all a mistake. Isabelle’s Dad had promised to take her to Disneland, but he hadn’t asked Mrs. Hepworth, who was the head teacher. And when he did ask her, she said “No. Not under any circumstances can Mickey Mouse be more important than Mathematics.” And Isabelle didn’t go to Disney land with her family. So it couldn’t have been Isabelle who stole the spell book.

And then some strange things started to happen around school. Mr. Cotton liked to put his gloves on the table. One time when he turned his back to write on the WhiteBoard, the glove stared to walk across the table on two fingers. When he turned round it flopped down again. The whole class started laughing, and Mr. Cotten said:

“All right. Will somebody let me in on the big joke?”

And Moyra said: “Katie did a spell!”

And Katie would have been in big trouble. Only Mr. Cotton was nice and didn’t tell Mrs. Hepworth.

And another time, when Mr. Corneau was teaching French, a marker pen drew funny faces on the white board behind his back. Everyone laughed again. But fortunately he was too confused to understand what had happened, because he didn’t speak very much English, and even if he did, he probably wouldn’t have believed it.

Somebody was using Katie’s spells to play pranks. And Katie was extremely cross about it.

For a while she suspected Jemma, because she won a poetry competition and was invited onto TV to read her poem. But then it turned out that she had written her winning verse long before the spell book was went missing, and Katie understood that she hadn’t composed it by magic, but by skill.

And then Isis Suspected Paul because he suddenly grew taller and became quite good looking. But Katie thought it couldn’t be him, because he was too nice.

And then something serious happened. It was the evening of the school play, and the children, parents and school governors packed into the hall to watch it. Mr Appleton had been rehearsing with the drama society for weeks and weeks. Some of the teachers said it was the best thing the school had ever done. It was called Romeo and Juliet. And when they got to the famous part where Juliet stands on a balcony – in this case a stepladder – and says:

O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

Romeo replied:

“I’m here you silly bat. Have you gone blind or what?

That wasn’t anything like the right line. But Juliet carried on:

‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy:
What’s in a name? That which we call a sock
By any other word would pong like your feet

And Romeo said

What’s up Juliet? You weren’t supposed to say that.

And Mr. Appleton had to jump up on stage. And Juliet fell off her stepladder. And generally the evening was the biggest disaster in the whole history of the school.

Romeo and Juliet were played by Paul and Jemma. And normally they would have been in big big trouble. Like expelled from school type of trouble. But both of them swore that they didn’t mean to say those words. And Mrs. Hepworth believed them because they were both star pupils and always very well behaved. She thought that somebody had put a spell on them. And she suspected that that person was Katie. Because, you see, Katie was the only witch in school that she knew about.

Of course Katie understood right away that she was the prime suspect. She worked up all her courage and went to see Mrs. Hepworth in her study.

The headmistress said: “So. You have come to confess.” And she said it with such certainty that for a moment Katie felt guilty even though she hadn’t done anything wrong.

“No,” she said. “Truly, Honestly, I’m totally innocent. Somebody has stolen my spell book and is using it ! ”

Mrs. Hepworth did know whether or not to believe her pleas.

“Well Katie. I hope you are not telling lies,” she said. ” Because I shall find out the truth.”

And this is how she got to the bottom of the matter. Katie’s class was looking forward to a special treat at school. The Animal Man was coming with his traveling zoo. He was bringing rabbits, and guinea pigs, harmless snakes, big spiders, and colorful birds, and the children would be allowed to touch them and pick them up.

Unexpectedly, Mrs. Hepworth turned up in place of their usual teacher. Under her arm she held a file on which was written.

“Questions and Answers.” She told the class:

“We are going to do a test. And if anyone gets less than seven out of ten they won’t go be seeing the animal man tomorrow. Instead they will stay in with me and do mathematical problems.”

And the whole class felt gloomy, because this was a nasty surprise.

Things got worse. The questions were really hard and quite random. Like,

“What is the capital of Mongolia?”

And “Let ABC and DEF be two triangles in which angles B and C are equal respectively to angles E and F; If AB is not equal to DE, then one of them is greater?”

And

“Who was the seventh president of the United States of America?”

Katie did not know the answer to a single question. She looked at Isis. She could see her pen hovering above the paper.

“Katie,” said Mrs. Hepworth. “Stop copying your friend.”

And Katie thought: “What’s the use copying Isis? She’s as stumped as I am.”

At the end of the text, Mrs. Hepworth collected all the papers and made everyone read quietly while she did the marking.

At the end of the lesson, Isis asked. “Please Mrs. Hepworth. Did anyone past the test?” And Mrs. Hepworth gave a reply that nobody understood. She said:

“Which is the wicked witch that wished the wicked wish? Soon we shall find out.”

When she was gone, Isabelle was saying to her friends: “It’s all Katie’s fault. We’re being punished because she put a spell on the school play.”

And several people said. “Yeah. Katie, you should stop doing spells.”

As Katie was about to go home later that day, Mrs. Hepworth caught up with her in the corridor and asked her to step into her study.

“I’ve got something for you,” she said as she closed the door behind her.

And Katie saw that on the head teacher’s desk was something very precious. It was her book of spells.

“I promise I haven’t looked at any of your spells,” said Mrs. Hepworth. and then she looked a bit guilty because head teachers aren’t supposed to tell fibs. “well just a little peak,” she admitted.

She handed the book to Katie.

“Thank you, Mrs. Hepworth,” said Katie. But how….?”

And Mrs. Hepworth explained.

“The test I set today wasn’t an ordinary one. It was a witch test. A certain somebody answered all the questions. And that certain somebody used magic spells: your magic spells which he or she stole.”

“But isn’t that unfair?” asked Katie. “What if that person was just brilliant and knew all the answers?”

The headmistress tapped her nose and her lips formed a smug smile:

“You see they didn’t give the right answers. They gave the wrong answers. But not just any old wrong answers. They wrote down the very same wrong answers that were in my file. And the only way they could have seen what I had in my file was by magic.”

And Katie understood that `Mrs. Hepworth had played a very clever trick. Although she wouldn’t say who the “certain somebody” was, Katie waited to see who got expelled. But in fact, nobody did. Because Mrs. Hepworth thought that if the school governors learned about her special test, they might accuse her of going on a witch hunt, and witch hunts are supposed to be wrong in this day and age. And so the certain somebody went unpunished. But Mrs. Hepworth knew who that person was, and she was watching them.

And that’s the story of the Witch Who Lost her Spells.

And Bertie says he hopes that you never lose anything important. And if you do, he hopes you find it again with out any resort to magic.

And there are loads more stories about Katie at Storynory.com. Stories like: The Witch Who Got into Trouble at School and The Valentine Witch. And of course we have stories on just about every subject. So until next time….

Text Copyright Hugh Fraser 2009

Download the audio to your computer

This is a story about Katie who is an ordinary girl apart from one thing – she’s a witch. (More Katie stories are here).

One year at school, Katie’s form teacher was especially moody and grumpy. When Valentine’s Day was coming up, Katie and her friend Isis hatched a plan to make her teacher fall in love so that she would be “dancing on air” and in a good mood.

But Katie discovers that True Love must come from the heart, not from a magic spell.

And if you like Valentine’s stories try

• St. Valentine
• Bertie Valentine.

Read by Natasha. Duration 17 Minutes. Story by Bertie.

Katie went to a nice school where most of the teachers were kind, but some of them were quite strict, and all of them could be moody and grumpy at times, just like anyone else can be. Unfortunately, Katie’s form teacher was more grumpy and more moody than most, and more often. She was the only teacher in the whole school who the children hadn’t given a nick name to. For instance, Mr. Philpots was known as Potty, which seemed to suit him quite well. Mrs. Woodruff was called dandruff, and Miss. Tidy was called Untidy because she was.

Katie’s teacher was called Miss. Vile. That was her real name. So she didn’t have a nickname, because quite frankly, she didn’t need one.

“Katie ! ” she said on morning, “This homework looks like it was done in about five minutes. You know that you are meant to spend at least half an hour on it. You will stay in at playtime and do it again. ”

“Katie ! ” she said another time, “Those tights are not regulation school uniform. I will call your mother, she must take you home, and you must change them.”

“And Katie ! ” she said yet another time, “Stop muttering to yourself. You know that magic spells are against the school rules.”

When anybody misbehaved Miss. Vile wrote their names up on a board called “The Wall of Shame”. Everyone’s name was on it, except for Samantha’s and Matthew’s, because they were both goody-two-shoes who never did anything wrong. But Katie’s name was written on The Wall of Shame more than anybody else’s. In fact, it was written right at the top of the board in large red letters with ten exclamation marks after it.

Katie didn’t feel ashamed. But she did feel cross because it wasn’t fair.

It was the end of January. Katie’s form was learning about the Chinese New Year, and how each year is named after an animal. Miss Vile asked Katie what was her Chinese symbol, and she said that she was born in the Year of the Cat, and then Miss Vile told her that that was impossible, because there wasn’t a Year of  the Cat, and Katie said.

“It’s possible for me because I’m a witch, and all witches are born in the Year of the Cat.”

And the whole class laughed, but Isis said, “That’s right Miss. Vile. Katie’s different because she is a witch.”

“What utter clap-trap!” exclaimed Miss Vile. “I’ve told you before not to talk nonsense about magic and witches. You will  go and see the head teacher right now ! Both of YOU ! And take this note with you to explain all about your naughtiness !”

And while Katie and Isis were waiting to see the head teacher, they both felt very sad and wondered what they could do about Miss. Vile.

“Couldn’t you turn her into a toad or something?” asked Isis. But Katie shook her head. If Miss vile suddenly turned up to school one day as a toad, everyone would know who was to blame, and Katie would be in a huge heap of trouble. She might even get expelled for turning a teacher into a toad.

And then the Head Teacher called Katie and Isis into her study. She read the note, and shook her head. But she wasn’t too cross, because she knew all about Katie.

“I know that you are a bit different, ” she said to Katie, “and that you can do all sorts of magic spells, but it’s best not to mention it to anybody, OK? Somethings are best kept a secret. Now go back to your lessons both of you. ”

Katie and Isis didn’t see much point in hurrying back to the class, and so they both sat in the cloak room and talked over the problem of Miss. Vile.

“Well if you can’t turn her into something horrid, maybe you can turn her into something nice,” said Isis.

And Katie thought about this. But she couldn’t imagine Miss Vile being anything nice, and  she thought that the magic wouldn’t work.

“I’ve got it ! ” said Isis. “It will be Valentine’s Day soon. Why don’t you make her fall in love ! Grown-ups are always in a happy mood when they are in love, and she’ll be nice and kind to us.”

Katie thought that was a brilliant idea, because Witches know all sorts of magic spells for making people fall in love. But there was only one question. Who with?

“Why with Potty of course, ” said Isis, “He hasn’t got a wife. Why don’t you make him send her flowers and chocolate, and then she’ll be dancing on air.”

Katie and Isis both had a fit of giggles, and when they got back to class everyone wondered why they were both looking so happy after a visit to the Head Teacher’s study.

At home that evening, Katie opened up her mother’s book of spells and turned the pages to “L” for Love. There were loads and loads of spells, but some of them were a bit impractical. For instance, if she followed one spell she would need to get hold of some big toe nail clippings from Mr. Philpots and a loch of hair from Miss. Vile. That didn’t sound very easy. For another spell, she need some mandrake’s root from the magic grocery shop, and mandrake’s root was very expensive. And then she found a spell that just required pictures of the two people who were to fall in love, and that was easy because she had a photograph of the whole school from the end of summer term. It was a shame that she had to cut it up with a pair of scissors, but it was in a good cause.

On February the 14th, which as everyone knows is Valentine’s day, Miss. Vile came into class looking quite different. Isis said afterward that she looked like she was lightly tripping on air.

When they saw her, Katie and Isis both felt sure that she had found a box of chocolates, a bunch of red roses and a card next to her locker in the staff room.

“Miss Vile. I’m really sorry, but I didn’t have time to do my home work last night.”

The whole class went silent and you could have heard a drawing pin drop. But Miss Vile said,

“Never mind Katie. It wasn’t very important anyway.”

And every one gasped.

And then Katie said:

“Actually, I was just joking. I did do it really !”

And Miss. Vile smiled and said. “Ah yes, that’s a funny joke. You got me there.”

And everyone was totally amazed. I mean like gobsmacked. And Katie smiled to herself. She knew that her spell had worked.

But what Katie didn’t know was that Miss. Vile had not just received one box of chocolates, and one bunch of flowers that morning. No. She had received two of each ! And two Valentine’s Day cards. No wonder she was in such a good mood.

That evening, Isis and her mum were out shopping in town, and Isis saw Potty and Miss. Vile standing outside a restaurant window and looking at the menu. And Isis said to her mum:

“Look ! How romantic ! Our teachers are going out for a candle-lit dinner on St. Valentine’s day !”

And her mum thought that Isis was getting very grown up to make a remark like that.

But what neither of them could hear what Mr. Philpots was saying to Miss. Vile. His words were.

“My oh my. Just look at the price of steak and chips at this place. Let’s find somewhere cheaper.”

But because Miss. Vile was in love, she didn’t think that her dear Potty was stingy. No, she thought how clever he was to be careful money, and what a good husband he would make.

For the rest of term, Miss. Vile was a sweet as could be, but when the children came back for the summer term, they were in for a big disappointment.

Her first words were:

“The first person who so much as whispers will be picking up litter after school for the rest of term.”

And Katie and Isis both knew that she Miss. Vile must have fallen out of love.

Katie was disappointed because it seemed that her spell had not worked entirely as it was supposed to. And so she asked her mother whether the love spell using pictures was any good. She was careful to explain that it wasn’t for her, but for somebody else. And her mother said:

“Love spells work, but only for a while. It’s only True Love that lasts for ever, not magic love. True Love must come from the heart.”

And when Katie heard that, she understood that it wasn’t her fault that the spell hadn’t lasted. And when she told Isis about this they both felt a bit down. But at least they only had one more term with Miss Vile – and after the summer holidays they would have a new form teacher.

And Miss Vile was her old grumpy moody self for the next five weeks. But when after the half term holiday, everyone had a pleasant surprise. She was back to being lovely and carefree.

“Katie, did you put another spell on her?” asked Isis.  But Katie hadn’t.  No what had happened was that Mr. Cotton had worked up the courage to ask Miss. Vile to go to the opera with him.   Mr.  Cotton had two nicknames.  One was ” Socks” as in “cotton socks” and the other was “Mr. Rotten.”  But the second name was unfair, but because Mr. Cotton was the sweetest and kindest teacher in the whole school.  And now Mr. Cotton and Miss Vile had found their  True Love.

Text Copyright Hugh Fraser 2009.

Download the audio of The Nose That Ran Away

Something very peculiar happened to a girl called Isis. Her nose ran away. And then all sorts of things started to happen at her school when the other children caught sight of it.

It’s all very strange indeed. But perhaps it’s not quite so extraordinary when you know that Isis went to the same school as Katie.

You may recall that we heard about Katie recently, when she got into trouble at school. If you heard that story- or her Halloween Tale - you’ll know that Katie is a witch and can do all sorts of magic.

If you like this story, you might like to trace its origins back to a Russian tale called   The Nose by Nicholai Gogol.

Read by Natasha. Pictures by Tia. Written by Bertie. Duration 20 minutes. 

Loads of people are always saying that Isis is an exceptionally pretty little girl. They say things like, “What lovely blond hair she has! ” and “What wonderful blue eyes!” and “Such a sweet nose!” and “What a darling little mouth!”.

And Isis likes it when people say such things about her. And there’s something else that makes her happy – it’s that everyone at school wants to be friends with her. In fact, she’s so popular that every girl in her class is simply dying to go to her birthday party.

But Isis couldn’t invite just anyone to her party. And especially, she couldn’t invite Katie.

You see, Katie was a bit strange. And not very pretty. Well at least Isis thought so. And she didn’t like the way she did her hair. And her shoes weren’t very nice.

And Isis couldn’t possibly invite a girl who wasn’t pretty to her party. So she didn’t.

But Katie has a secret that Isis didn’t know. Only a very few people, like Wendy and Alisa, know Katie’s secret – but I’ll let you in on it. Katie is a witch, and can do all sorts of magic spells. She tries not to do them too often – or else everyone will soon know her secret.

One day, Isis came to school with invitations for all the girls in her class to come to her party. All except for Katie.

And Katie felt a bit sad about that. Because although she wasn’t best friends with Isis, she felt, well, rather left out. It made her feel like there might be something wrong with her.

The next day, some of the girls were talking about Isis’s party. Samantha said, “I’m not sure what colour dress to wear, but I think I might go in pink.”

“Yes,” said Trudy. “Pink suits you so well.”

When Katie walked past, Julia said, “I expect that Isis didn’t invite Katie because she’s got a nose like a pug.”

Katie heard this and she spun round: “I do not have a nose like a pug !’ she said. “And even If I did, Isis has a nose that points upward – and that means that she’s a snooty-nose.”

But the girls just laughed at Katie and they all chanted :

“You’re nose is flat
And you’re bum is fat.”

Later,  when Isis heard that Katie had called her a snooty nose, she was cross. In fact, she was really, really, really cross, because she knew that there was a little grain of truth in it – and a true insult hurts more than an untrue you. Her nose did point up just a bit – but even so, she still thought it was the prettiest nose in the class.

When she saw Katie she said:

“How dare you all me a snooty-nose? You just said that because I didn’t invite you to my party. Well I’ll tell you Katie why I didn’t invite you. I didn’t want you there because my mum says that your mum is weird and that your whole family is ugly, especially you!”

“I’m glad that you didn’t invite me,” said Katie. “Because I wouldn’t have come anyway. And besides, your nose does point up and that’s because you and your whole family are snooty. Your family is so snooty that they named you after an Egyptian Goddess – and if you look at a picture of the real Isis you’ll see that she had a pointy-up-nose too.”

“Isis is a very pretty name,” said Isis. “At least it’s not a common name like Katie. You’re more common than a tin of baked beans. In fact, there’s nothing pretty or clever about you. You’re not even funny. You’re just dumpy, flat-nosed Katie, with stringy black hair, bandy legs, and wonky teeth. And besides, nobody likes you because there is nothing special about you at all. Not one thing – apart from the fact that you smell.”

And Katie was so cross that she started to mutter a magic spell to turn Isis into a snail – but then she thought that had better not, incase she got into trouble.

So that night, before she went to sleep, Katie sat up in bed reading her magic books. She was looking for a very special spell to get her revenge on Isis. And at last, just before her mum came in to kiss her goodnight, she found the perfect spell for the job.

In the morning, Isis got out of bed and went to look at her face in the mirror. She was just a bit worried because she thought she might be getting a spot on her nose – and that wouldn’t do at all. In fact, she had decided that if her nose got a pimple, she wouldn’t go to school until it went away.

But when she looked in the mirror, what she saw was not at all what she had been fearing. It was much, much worse.

It was her nose.

Or rather, it wasn’t her nose. Because it wasn’t there any more.

Isis had no nose. Her face was just flat where her pretty little snooter should have been. She let out a scream! And then another scream. And then another. Her mother came rushing up the stairs. And then she screamed too.

When they both stopped screaming, they looked under the pillow and in the folds of the duvet. Then they looked under the bed and in the cupboard. But nowhere, could they find her nose.

Then her mum wrapped a scarf around her daughter’s face and took her to the doctor’s. The doctor said not to worry. Isis wouldn’t die because she could still breathe through her mouth. But he said it was strange, very strange indeed. He had never seen anything like it. He gave her a bottle of pink medicine just in case it might help, but on balance he thought it probably wouldn’t.

And then Isis cried. And she cried. And she cried some more. Because she couldn’t possibly go to school without her nose. And she would have to cancel her party. And so long as she was noseless, she wouldn’t be popular.

Because nobody would want to know a girl with no nose.

In class, the teacher said that Isis had had an accident and wouldn’t be coming to school until she was better. When Katie heard this, she knew that her spell had worked, but of course she didn’t tell a soul about it. After school, Julia and Annabelle went round to Isis’s house to see if she was OK. Nobody answered the door, so they went around the back to see if she was playing outside on the lawn. They saw her sitting on a garden chair. And they both saw face. But of course, what they didn’t see was her nose.

After that, the news about Isis losing her nose spread fast around the school. Everybody was talking about it. And then some very strange things started to happen. Really strange things indeed.

When the art teacher, Miss Jenkins, opened her desk, she found inside it – a nose. It was a pretty little nose but slightly pointed up at the end – just like Isis’s. She thought it was a joke-nose that somebody had made out of play-dough. And that made her very cross.

“It really isn’t very nice at all, “ she said. “In fact, who ever did this has an extremely nasty little mind. It’s ever so cruel to make fun of somebody who’s had an accident!”

Everyone wondered who had made the joke-nose. But in fact nobody had. Because it really was Isis’s nose. And when Miss Jenkins wasn’t looking, the nose climbed out her desk, hopped onto her chair, and jumped down onto the floor. You see, it had grown two little legs and it could run. Toby spotted it – and he yelled out :

“Look Miss, Look! Look! There it goes. The nose is escaping! It’s running away.”

But Miss Jenkins didn’t look. She didn’t even believe him. She just went over to Toby and told him that he was a very naughty little boy and that he was in big trouble. In fact, she was going to ring his mother and tell her just what a mean and horrid thing he had done.

Nobody else saw the nose escaping – except for Katie – and she kept quiet. She felt a bit sorry for Toby, but not too much, because she knew that very soon more people would see some strange things. And they did.

When Samantha opened her locker, she screamed so loud that the whole school heard her – because Isis’s nose had been asleep on top of her fleece, and when she opened the door it sprang up and jumped out of the locker.

And when Annabel looked in the mirror, she saw that her face had two noses – her own and Isis’s – and they seemed to be having a conversation with each other. Annabel didn’t even scream – she just fainted. When she came round, Isis’s nose had scarpered – and none of the teachers believed what she told them. They just said that she must have imagined it.

And Toby found the runaway nose once again. This time, it was taking a nap in his lunch box. He was so frightened that he would get into even more trouble than before, that he didn’t tell anyone. He just grabbed the nose and let it loose in the playground where it ran off, no doubt to make more trouble elsewhere.

At the next staff meeting, Mrs. Hepworth, the headmistress, was in one of her flurries.

“What on earth are we going to do about all this nose business? The whole school has been traumatized by Isis’s terrible accident. All the children are imagining things. It’s a mass hysteria.”

A mass hysteria is when lots of people see the same thing which isn’t really true. Like the Indian rope trick, when a man appears to climb up a rope that isn’t attached to anything.

By now Katie had enough revenge. Perhaps too much. And she truly wished that she could send the naughty nose back to Isis’s face. But the trouble was, she couldn’t find out how to reverse the spell. She had found it in a very old book of magic, and some of the pages were missing – including the one with the reverse nose spell on it.

A few days later she saw Isis in the supermarket – well she didn’t actually see her face because Isis had wrapped a scarf around it. In fact, she looked like she was going out in a snow blizzard. Isis saw Katie – but she pretended not to. She felt ashamed that her nose had run away. And Katie felt, well, rather sorry for her, and just a bit guilty.

So that evening she asked her mum if she knew where the missing pages from the old spell book were.

“Oh yes, those. They’re in my desk,” said mum. “But there’s nothing very useful in them – unless you want to charm a runaway nose back to its owner. I had to learn that spell for the Witch Masters Course at University. The professor said it had only been used once, and that was 150 years ago in the city of St. Petersburg when it was still the capital of Russia.”

But Katie said that she liked reading old spells, and besides, you never knew when they might come back into fashion.

And that night, she learned two sets of magic words. Both were very complicated. One for catching the runaway nose. And the another was for sticking it back onto its owner’s face.

The nose didn’t want to be caught, but Katie found it living in the school Kitchen where it could sample plenty of nice food smells. She said the magic words that she had learned off by heart, and it hopped into her hand. She wrapped it in a handkerchief.

And then she went round to Isis’s house. Isis’s mum answered the door and said that her daughter didn’t want to see anyone. But Katie told her that she had important news about the whereabouts of the runaway nose, and eventually she was allowed up to Isis’s room.

Isis hadn’t seen any friends for three whole weeks. In fact, she was actually quite pleased that someone had come to see her – although she hid her face behind a pillow so that her visitor couldn’t see her face.

“It’s very nice of you to come round,” she said from behind the pillow. “None of my friends want to see me anymore – not even my nose wants to see me. It ran off, you know. At least you are no longer the most unpopular girl in school. I am, and I suppose that serves me right for being so mean to you.”

And Katie said:

“You were mean to me. But I was meaner to you. You see, it was me who told your nose to run away.”

“You?” said Isis.

“Yes me. But now I’ve brought it back to you.”

And Katie took out a handkerchief, unfolded it, and put the nose on the bed.”

Isis had to see this, so she stuck her head out from behind the pillow and said.

“Oh Gosh, Golly golly gosh. It is my nose. Oh pretty little nose, why did you run away from me?”

And the nose said,

“I ran away from you because you were boring.”

“Me. Boring? But, but … I was the prettiest, most popular girl in school.”

“And didn’t you go on about it? In fact, you went on, and on, and on, about how wonderful you were. So I got bored and ran away. “

“Oh! It was was ever so mean of you to run away,” said Isis. “I had to cancel my own birthday party.”

But Katie was getting fed up with all the talk. She put her foot down and said.

“It’s high time for you two to get back together. And no arguments. “

And with that she said picked up the nose, said a magic spell, and she stuck it back on Isis’s face.

Katie looked at Isis and checked that she had put her nose back on straight. She had. Then she noticed that while it had been away, the nose had grown a bright red pimple because it hadn’t been eating all its vitamins.

Isis looked in the mirror and saw the pimple. But do you know what? She didn’t even care because she was so glad to have her nose back. The next day she went to school. Everyone crowded round to welcome her back. And nobody minded that she had a pimple on her nose. In fact, Samantha said that nobody would have minded even if she had no nose at all – because there was more to life than have a perfect fact. In fact, being true friends was much more important than how anyone looked.

And Isis said.

“I want you all to come to my party next week. Especially Katie because now she’s my best friend.”

Text Copyright Hugh Fraser 2008.

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Katie the Witch first came out and about around Halloween, and was a big hit with lots of Storynory listeners. (Her first story is here). Now she returns in a new tale in which she gets into trouble, big trouble, at school.

Katie has twice as much school work to do as all the other kids. She has to learn loads and loads of magic spells, as well as her written spelling,  arithmetic, geography, French and history. She finds that it’s ever so tempting just to use a little bit of magic in her ordinary school exams. And that’s when her trouble begins.

Read by Natasha. Duration 16.15.  Written by Bertie.

It was summer. The school year had almost come to an end, and everyone was looking forward to the long holidays.

In fact, everyone would have been really, really happy, except for one thing.

Before the holidays, they had to do exams. And nobody likes to do exams, unless they are the swottiest of swots.

And Katie didn’t think that exams were at all nice.

No matter how good you are at magic, you still have to remember things for yourself. And Katie had twice as much to learn as all the other children.

She had to do the witch exams as well as the ordinary school exams.

She did the witch exams in the evenings – and her mum gave her four and half stars stars for her work. But then she had to get ready for the tests at her school.

“Mum, it’s not fair” she complained. “I have to learn so many magic spells. And I have to learn all the school lessons too.”

“Well just think yourself lucky,” said mum. “Other children have to tidy their rooms, but you can just say a magic spell and it’s done just like that!”

So Katie sat in her room and tried to read her school books. But to tell you the truth, she also looked out of the window and made up fairy tales about herself.

Only in the stories, she wasn’t a witch. She was a beautiful princess who could also do magic tricks.

When exam week came, the first test was spelling. If it had been magic spelling, Katie would have been alright. But in this test the teacher read out words like “accommodation” and “Mississippi” and other words that are tricky to spell.

Katie was really cross. She thought the teacher had chosen the most difficult words just to be mean.

That wasn’t fair.

So she tried a little magic. She couldn’t say a spell out loud, because everyone would hear.

So she just thought the words in her head really hard – and Wow ! It worked. Her pen wrote the correct spellings all by itself.

Next they had to do maths problems. Katie could do the first few – because they were easy-peasy – but then there was a mean question about a monkey and some bananas.

So she thought up another magic spell, and again her pen wrote down the right answer.

In history, she had to remember all the names of the gods of Ancient Egypt.

And in geography she had to remember the capital cities of Europe.

And in French she had to remember some really, really tricky words like “le sange est sur la branche “ which means “the monkey is on the branch”.

In fact, all the exams had mean questions in them. And in every case, a little magic spell came in handy.

In fact, the magic worked so well for Katie that she thought to herself: “Why should I bother learning all these stupid thing? I can just say a magic spell and my pen will write the answer.”

The week after that, the teacher, finished marking all the papers.

She told the class that they had all done very well, especially Katie who had scored top marks in every exam.  She hadn’t got a single answer wrong.

“Wow Katie, “ said Julie. “You’re a genius.”

The teacher said, “Congratulations Katie. You certainly did very well. Maybe too well. I think that you and I should go and have a little talk with Mrs. Hepworth.”

And Katie felt just a bit worried.

Because Mrs. Hepworth is the head mistress. And when you go to have a little talk with Mrs. Hepworth, that usually means that you are in trouble.

Big Trouble.

At lunchtime, the teacher took Katie to see Mrs Hepworth. She explained that Katie had got top marks in all her exams and hadn’t got a single question wrong.

“You are a very naughty girl,” said Mrs. Hepworth.

And Katie started to cry.

And to cry.

And to cry.

And the teacher dried her tears with a handkerchief.

“There there,” she said.

Eventually Katie stopped crying.

“Do you know why you are a naughty girl?” asked Mrs. Hepworth.

Katie said: “You’re just cross with me because I’m a witch and I know how to do magic. That’s really mean of you because I can’t help being a witch. I was born that way.”

“Now you are talking nonsense.” said Mrs. Hepworth. There are no such things as witches or magic. You are in trouble because you cheated in the exams.”

“I did not not NOT !.” said Katie.

“Just tell us how you did it, and we will let you off – this time,” said the teacher.

Katie knew that she was in big trouble. She just wanted to run out of the study and all the way back home to her mum. But she couldn’t do that, so she thought she had better own up.

“Well I did do a few magic spells,” she said. “Just little ones”.

But they didn’t believe her.

“Oh dear. What are we going to do with this problem child?” said the teacher.

“Katie.” said Mrs. Hepworth. “You are in big, big trouble. You have till the end of term to tell us how you cheated in the exams. If you don’t tell the truth by then, you won’t be coming back to school next term. We don’t have girls who make up stories about witches and magic in this school. Goodness gracious! You’ll be frightening all the other children with these silly stories.”

And Katie was very very sad about that, because she was telling the truth about being a witch.

And it wasn’t fair.

It was the last week of term. And before the holidays, the school always had a special treat. This term, Katie’s class went on a trip to the safari park.

It was a big park full of wild animals from places like Africa. There were giraffes, and elephants, and long-legged deer called Gazelles.

Katie’s class were all safe inside the bus, and they looked out of the window at all the animals. It was ever so cool. Everyone was really excited and happy.

Except for Katie. She was sad because she was still in big, big trouble.

The best animals were the chimpanzees. They climbed all over the bus. The driver got really cross when they stole his windscreen wipers. Everyone else thought that was ever so funny.

And the lions were good too. Even if they were a bit scary .

They had lunch in a restaurant on top of a tall rock. The rock was on a big island surrounded by water. And in the water there were crocodiles.

And the crocodiles were really scary.

Even more scary than the lions.

There was boy in Katie’s class called Clive. Clive was always doing silly things. But the teachers didn’t seem to mind.

Clive never go into trouble, however silly he was.

But then, he didn’t know how to do magic. So that was probably why he always got away with things.

In the restaurant, Clive did something very silly indeed. He asked to go to the loo, and on the way back, he went through a door that said:

“Staff Only.”

And from there he went down a corridor and found a special room.

It was the room which they used to feed the crocodiles.

It had a window and the keepers threw meat out of it, down into the river.  And somebody had left the window open.

Clive climbed up to look through the window. Then he saw that if you climbed out of the window, you could get onto the rocks. He thought it would be really cool to walk around the rocks, and look in at the other children eating their lunch. They would get a really big surprise to see him out there.

So that’s what he did.

Only he slipped on a banana skin left by a monkey. Then, he fell down the rocks and broke his ankle. Fortunately, one of the keepers saw him and sounded the alarm.

Everyone in the restaurant rushed to the window to look out, and they saw Clive lying on a rock near the river. A crocodile was waddling slowly towards him. Its face had a sort of smile on it, and its tale was swishing.

Everyone screamed.

Except for Katie and Wendy.

Wendy knew that Katie was a witch because once she had once turned her into a toad for a short time.

“Katie. Do something. You’re the only one who can save poor Clive. Just say a magic spell. Quick !!!!!”

Mrs. Hepworth heard this. But she was too frightened to tell off either Wendy or Katie. After all, poor Clive was looking into the jaws of a crocodile.

Katie thought really hard what would be the best magic spell do do. And then she decided: “I know. I will make Clive fly.”

Fortunately, she knew the spell to make somebody fly off by heart. She had learned it when she was getting ready for her witch exams. Now she shouted it out at the top of her voice.

I can’t tell you what she said, because it’s a secret. But it worked well, because everyone saw Clive rise up in the air, and gently fly back up to the restaurant.

Even the crocodile was impressed.

Then Katie said another spell to make everyone forget what they had just seen .

Except for the crocodile.

And Mrs. Hepworth.

After that, Katie wasn’t in trouble any more. Because Mrs. Hepworth now knew that she was telling the truth when she said she was a witch.

And Katie was glad that she had worked very hard that term – to learn all her magic spells. And when she got home and told her family what had happened, her mum gave her another half star for passing her witch exams.

So now Katie is a five star witch.

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As every kid knows, Halloween is both spooky and sweet. It’s spooky because there are witches and wizards about, and it’s sweet because children go in search of treats.

This story is about a little girl who is a witch, and it’s fair to say that it’s more sweet than spooky. Her name is Katie, and her school mates think she is rather odd, and don’t really believe that she can do magic. She’s afraid of Halloween, because she thinks they will tease her more than usual, but in fact she has quite a few useful tricks and treats up her sleeve.

And while you are in witching mood, you may also enjoy a special Bertie story from our archive called Halloween on the Pond.

Read by Natasha. Duration 8.52

Once upon a time, there was a girl called Katie.

Katie was seven.

And she lived in nice house with her mum and dad, and her little brother Joey, and a dog called Muffin.

And it was all quite normal really.

Except for one thing.

They were witches.

Well, except for her Dad, who was a Wizard.

And the dog, Muffin, who was a D-witch, which is a dog who casts spells.

Anyway being a witch wasn’t so bad.

Mum would just twitch her nose and all the cleaning would get done.

Dad would wave his stick, and the lawn would cut itself.

Muffin would click his paws, and a few dog treats would tumble out of the sky.

They’d even taught Katie some magic.

She knew how to make her homework do itself.

And her room got tidied just by twitching her ear.

But there was just one thing Katie really didn’t like.

Halloween.

Once a year, when the leaves were falling off the trees, and the nights were getting longer, all the children in her school and along her street would get terribly excited about Halloween.

They made costumes of horrible looking witches.

With long pointy noses, and spots, and nasty black hats, and broomsticks.

And Katie said in school: “Witches aren’t like that, really. My mum looks quite nice.”

And all the other girls fell about laughing.

“Katie thinks she’s a witch,” they laughed. “She’s ugly and horrible, just like a witch.”

And when Katie went home that day, she was really upset.

She cried and cried and cried. And when her mum asked her what the matter was, she said: “Everyone hates witches. And they especially hate them at Halloween.”

And her mum tried to explain that although some people didn’t like witches, it was also quite useful sometimes, like when the washing up got done all by itself.

“I don’t ever want to have anything to do with witch-craft again,” said Katie angrily.

But on Halloween night, all the girls from her school were organising a trick or treat tour of the street.

And Katie didn’t want to go, because she’d decided she didn’t want to have anything to do with witch-craft.

Never, never, never….

But her mum said she had to.

Because a witch can hardly stay in on Halloween.

And she whispered something in Katie’s ear.

Do you know what it was?

Well, I’ll tell you in a minute.

Anyway, Katie went to join the other girls.

And some of them started laughing at her.

“Katie doesn’t have to dress up, because she’s already a witch,” they laughed.

And Katie felt cross.

And embarrassed.

But she decided to say nothing.

At the first house, they got a load of sherbet lemons.

At the second, a jumbo pack of sweeties.

At the third, loads and loads of crisps.

And at the forth, a giant packet of chocolate biscuits.

But at the fifth house, there lived a man called Mr Bones.

And Mr Bones didn’t like children.

He certainly didn’t see why he should give them any treats.

“Buzz off, you stupid kids,” he said when they knocked on the door.

“Trick or treat, trick, or treat…” cried the girls.

“Yes, well, I think I’ll take the trick, if it’s all the same to you,” said Mr Bones.

And a horrible smile creased up his face.

“Because you’re just a bunch of stupid little girls, and you don’t scare me.”

“But one of us is a real witch,” said Amelia, the biggest of the girls.

“Yes, yes, Katie’s a real witch,” they all cried.

But Mr Bones just laughed and laughed.

“That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard,” he said.

“Go on, Katie,” said Amelia. “Let’s see if you really are a witch.”

And so Katie stepped forwards.

“You don’t look scary to me,” said Mr Bones. “You’re just a stupid little girl.”

But Katie remembered what her mum had whispered in her ear.

Do you know what it was?

A special spell.

So right then, Katie recited the magic words.

And she wriggled her ear.

And all the girls gasped in amazement.

Because suddenly Mr Bones wasn’t Mr Bones anymore.

He was a little brown, fluffy hamster. Inside a cage. Running around and around on a wheel.

All the girls laughed and laughed.

Katie leaned into the cage. “Is it fun being a hamster?”

The little creature squeaked and shook its head.

And Katie spun the wheel, so that he had to run faster and faster.

And then she recited the magic words and Mr Bones was turned back into a man again.

“I’ll get you some treats, girls,” he said very quickly and nervously.

And he came back with tons of chocolate bars, fizzy drinks, biscuits, and even a new Barbie DVD for each girl.

“Please come back next year girls,” he said. “I’ll have even better stuff for you.”

And he went back inside, looking very nervous.

And as they went down the rest of the street, everyone had heard that there was a real witch out trick and treating tonight, so they all gave the girls even more sweets and biscuits than usual, and even some toys.

And Katie was the most popular girl in her class.

“You know, maybe it’s not so bad being a witch after all,” she said when she got home. “And I think I’m going to enjoy Halloween from now on.”